like a helicopter.

i'm a hover parent. i hover with the best of 'em. i've been reading for years about hover parenting & how it's a big no-no. but it never settled well with me. i'm too controling & worrysome. i needed to make sure that things were done right & that my boys were okay. so i'd lay out cooper's clothes, open his snack bags & water bottles, hold his hand most everywhere, & pretty much make sure that he never needed for anything. it made sense. i didn't want him to be overwhelmed or worried. as well intended as this plan may have been it totallly backfired in my face the day i dropped my little babe off at junior kindergarten. this wasn't just a reality check, my reality was shattered! here i am expected to drop off my practically hand fed child to a complete stranger who is in charge of 24 other children. yes, you want my child to be one of 25! my sweet little angel who is used to 100% of his mothers attention 24/7 is supposed to become one of many. the first week i was a wreck. what if he doesn't know where the bathroom is or he is too shy to ask? what if he doesn't know how to open his juice box or snack pack? or heaven forbid, what if he gets lost!? i was so tempted to stalk around campus following him just to be sure all was well. in fact, the only reason i didn't was because i was afraid my lingering presence would alarm the good folks of wailuku elementary. so patiently i waited. each day i waited for those dreaded 6 hours to pass. and you know what, a funny thing happen. my son encountered nearly everyone of those scenarios i was dreading. and you know what else, he overcame them, all on his own.  he survived just fine without me. and after a few days it finally set in. i don't need to hover. in fact, i really do need to trust him. he is capable & he can do so much more than i give him credit for. part of my job as a mother is to prepare him for his future, this includes educating him, guiding him, & allowing him practical experience. and heaven knows he will not be down with me holding his hand through college & beyond. so i've started to let go & trust him. he's started to get his own snacks, pick out his own clothes, & do his own hair (babysteps people, i'm not about to let the little guy use the microwave or anything!) 

families.

i find it hilarious that i endured 2 years of constant stress, headache, & intense mental labor to earn a master's degree (msw) that i've never professionally used. alas, i do put my education to use everyday in my interactions with others, mostly, my kids. my sole goal in life is to raise happy physically/spiritually/emotionally/mentally healthy children that positively contribute to society. is that so much? one quality i focus most on is family. i want my boys to have strong bonds with each other & with their parents. during my schooling i came across plenty of theories regarding family. every time i came across i quality that is believed to contribute to strong family bonds i would add it to my list. since then, i've added a few qualities that i personally believe to be important. i refer back to this list often to make sure that my parenting is on track. i really really hope to nurture & encourage a strong watkins family.

on dating

sometimes i write blog posts specifically to my sons for future reference. they are thoughts i have now that i don't want to forget to share with them later (ok, to be totally honest, since my near-death-accident i'm a little paranoid that i won't always be there for them. and i want to have these words written down in case i'm not here to tell them later.) so feel free to skip this post.

dating is a tricky thing. and doing it right is difficult. but it is honestly, the most important thing you will ever do. because how you date will dictate who you date. and who you date will become your wife. and who your wife is will determine your future family and so forth and so on. so date wisely. here are a few expectations i have for you when it comes to dating:

1. always ask a girl on a date. straight forward & direct. and always ask in person. if that just isn't possible than ask over the phone. never, i mean never, ask a girl on a date through a text, instant message, or email.

2. always take a girl out on a date. none of this "let's hang out at my place & watch a movie" nonsense. i expect you to pick her up & take her somewhere. it doesn't have to be fancy or ellaborate or immenseley creative. sometimes the best dates are simple, like a picnic in the park. you should always make sure you take her somewhere that she will feel comfortable at & enjoy.

3. open the car door for your date. open all doors for your date.

4. pay for your date. no questions asked. your father & i will make sure that you always have money for your dates. do not ever split the bill.

5. walk to the door to pick your date up. never text from the car, or worst yet, honk! and always walk your date to the door at the end of the night.

6. use your good senses when it comes to kissing. don't kiss every girl but don't be afraid to kiss the right girl.

7. listen to your date. the best dates involve getting to know the other person so take your date somewhere that will allow you to talk. ask her questions & share insight about yourself. the purpose of dating is to find someone you could spend your future with. so the longer you date a person the more you should get to know her.

8. always make your intentions clear. if you aren't feeling a girl than end it. don't string her along. it may hurt her for a minute but she will appreciate your honesty. and if you are feeling a connection than let her know. a girl loves clarity. it will make the whole dating process easier if you follow this one simple rule.

9. date around. but only seriously date one girl at a time. once you've found a girl you are interested in going exclusive with than be faithful. always, always be faithful. if you decide things aren't working out or you meet someone else you'd like to get to know refer back to rule #8.

10. be physical. the right way. hold hands, put your arm around her shoulders or eventually her waist, kiss her head, put your hand on her knee, these sweet gestures speak volumes & make a woman feel cared for. going too far physically only confuses the relationship & it can never be undone.

11. handle her heart with care. women are strong, much stronger than men. but they are also delicate. don't ruin that. do not be responsible for hardening a woman's heart.

12. get to know her family & friends. and let your family & friends get to know her. especially me.

13. when the time comes, tell her you love her, a lot. in fact, tell her all sorts of nice things. everyone deserves to be complimented.

14. serve her. not like a waiter more like perform acts of service for her. make her breakfast, take out her trash, offer her your jacket when she's cold, you get the point.

15. surprise her. again, a little can go a long way. just stick with small surprises. bring her a case of her favorite soda, pick her flowers, or show up at her work for a surprise lunch date.

16. never underestimate the power of the written word. as nice as it is to hear good things it's even better to have them written down so you can refrence back to them. you should write letters or notes to your love often.

17. when the time is right & you've found that special someone get down on one knee & ask her those 4 special words.

**my boys & i have started dating. once they hit 5 i take them on regular dates. we have fun but the whole purpose is to teach them how to date.

heaven on earth

my grandmother passed away this past weekend. she was the last of my grandparents. it is so strange to think that my family ends at my parents' generation. my boys & i went to the top of haleakala to spend some time remembering our dear grandma great on maui's personal piece of heaven. the view was spectacular. i can't even begin to do it justice with either my words or pictures (trying to quickly take good pictures of the sun setting over clouds is a bit beyond my capability). trust me, you just have to see it yourself. we went on a cloudy day. watching the sun set over the clouds was unbelievable. i honestly looked like heaven. i felt so close to my dear grandma. 

catching a glimpse of the big island

 so many craters

sun setting over pu'u kukui poking through the clouds 

my crew 

the boys

my mom has been telling me for weeks to call my grandma. in fact, my mom told me to call each of my grandparents prior to their deaths & i chose not to. i dreaded having that awkward conversation. so i repeatedly put it off. and now that it is too late i regret my selfish act of neglect. i am grateful to know that my grandparents now live on in perfect knowledge & understanding. they know how i felt/feel & they understand. it's only i that have a lack of closure. since, i am the type of person that gets closure by expressing my emotions verbally-or through the written word-i've decided to write what i wish i would have said. when something is nagging at me i have to express how i feel. once i've let my emotions out i feel at peace. regardless of the other persons response, or lack of. so this is the conversation i wish i would have had with each of my grandparents, more specifically my dear grandma jones that just passed.

hey grandma! i just wanted to call & tell you how much i love you & miss you.

you truly are a wonderful grandmother. i am so lucky to have had you in my life. i cherrish the time i've had with you & the example you've set for me. your unconditional love has brought so much comfort to me. by watching you i've learned true meaning of selflessness. you have always put the needs of those around you before your own. in fact, i don't think i've ever seen you ask for anything of anyone. you have always been happy knowing that those around you were happy. your thoughtfulness has no bounds. you never forget a birthday or holiday. i have always looked forward to your handwritten cards. and your baked goods know no rival. i hope that one day i can make your secret cake & those hershey kiss cookies half as good as you. 
i am so grateful for your unceasing commitment to family. you have built a strong happy family. we have so many happy memories & i know we will continue building more memories.

grandma, i know you aren't doing well. i probably won't see you again here on earth. and that breaks my heart. i will miss you so much. but i am comforted knowing that you will no longer be in pain. and i know you will have an amazing reunion when you get to heaven. i can only imagine the joy you will feel when you see grandpa & your parents & sisters, again. i wish i could be there with you & hold your hand. but i know that one day we will have the opportunity to do that again. until then, just know that i love you. 

time change

the hardest parts about living a world away from just about everyone i know is the time change. it makes keeping up with family & friends difficult. during the day i am usually in full mommy mode, which leaves little time for phone coversations. i always have one boy or another needing my attention. i am lucky if i can squeeze in any mandatory calls & an occassional chat with a loved one. my best opportunity for phone time is after i put the boys to bed & todd is at work. during these hours, i get bored & find myself in front of the computer &/or tv wishing i had someone to call. unfortunately, everyone i know is fast asleep. i have so many loved ones that i miss dearly & haven't been able to speak to since well before i arrived on this island. to all those folks, just know i am thinking about you. and if you ever happen to be awake & bored in the middle of the mainland night remember a phone call my way is always welcome. 

island mentality

I saw this bumper sticker the other day. and i loved it.

 what a good reminder. really? what is all the rush for? and i'm not talking strictly about driving. i'm talking about life in general. i have wasted so much time rushing here & there taking care of truly meaningless things & while i was so busy rushing i missed out on so many meaningful details. that is not how i want to live my life. because, really, what does it matter if the laundry sits for another day or we are late for an appointment, or bedtime is pushed back another half an hour. it doesn't matter at all. i want to relax & soak up every single piece of life given to me. especially, when it involves my boys. because they do grow so quickly. in our hurry to move out here i was so so busy. i didn't have time to take note of details. and in that time i missed out on so many special unrepeatable moments in my boys lives. i feel like mylo was born & suddenly turned 2 months old. and it breaks my heart. so now we take life slow. when we walk to the beach we walk. we stop and admire the hibiscus (mommy). we take note of the vehicles that pass by (tj). & we play games like mario kart (cooper). basically, we enjoy it. because the five minutes it takes us to get to our destinition are five minutes that we will never get back. so why not enjoy them to the fullest. and sometimes that five minute walk turns into a fifteen minute walk. and why not? we are in no rush. i am blessed to be a stay at home mommy & have the luxury of very few time commitments so i truly can live this lifestyle. todd hasn't quite caught onto the island mentality. but he is getting there. to think, one year ago we were living in new york city. talk about night & day.

small town hero.

it's days like this that i am so proud of my small town (not that i'd ever want to live there, again, let's go ahead & make that clear.) last week, chase marta, a soldier from my home town died in afghanistan. such a travesty. i knew chase when we were young & he was always such a sweet good kid. yesterday, his body was welcomed home for the final time. and many members of our small community were there to pay their respect to him. many of them never knew chase but they were still there to honor one of our country's fallen soldiers. i am so proud of chase. i am so proud of our community.

sweet teeth.

i think this article is 100% valid.  it's about a research study that claims people with a sweet tooth are generally more kind.  this explains why i'm so nice.  i thought it was my upbringing but i guess i can thank my chocolate addiction.  now i don't feel so bad about the jumbo bag of peanut m&m's i finished off in 2.5 days & the apple pie carmel apples i just made. this is exactly why todd needs to jump on the sugary bandwagon. 

quantity vs. quality

i'm a quality kind of person.  i like things, every thing, to possess high quality.  call me stuck-up, i call it smartly selective.  i wasn't always this way.  (hence, why my facebook friend list hit 800 before i wised up & went on a deleting spree.)   i think that with maturity i have developed a desire to surround myself with the best of the best.  this concept goes back to that whole moderation post i wrote a while back.  i just don't have the time or desire to take on every thing so if i am going to put effort into something it better be good.  this applies to objects as well as to people.  when i am out shopping i look for things that will last.  i like timeless pieces that won't fade with the latest trends & that possess high quality.  i call it investing.  i'd rather spend more money on one classic well-made dress from anthropologie than spend the same amount of money on 4 trendy pieces from forever21 that i will just have to replace in 2 months time.  i don't like clutter so if something is going to buy space in my house it needs to be good.  along the same lines, i would also rather have one reliable apple computer that costs a bit more than purchase a gateway that will give me more hassle than it's worth.  i like quality.  i am also so absorbed with the concept of quality that i don't let price tags fool me.  i pride myself on finding grade-a pieces that come at a low cost. but let's move away from the superficial subject of things & talk about people for a moment.  i like quality people.  (i'm strickly talking about the type of person they are on the inside.  i don't care for people who are dramatic or catty or selfish or superficial or mean or people that complain or bully.  i'd never limit my friends due to their outward qualities such as appearance or finances.  in fact, in college guys would allows ask me why i didn't hang out with more "hot" girls & i'd tell them that i didn't like most "hot" girls because they were shallow & stuck up.  these are the kind of people that I avoid.)  i try to surround myself with people that have the same interest & morals as me & that i truly enjoy being around.  i like people that are uplifting & inspire me to be a better person.  i like friendships that go both ways; i'm there for you & you're there for me.  i prefer to keep my contact list short & sweet.  there are only a few people i call regularly & even fewer people that i make time to see.  i'd actually prefer to be alone than be in the company of people i don't much care for.  now don't get me wrong, i am genuinely polite to just about everyone that comes my way; i just devote that extra effort to become friends with a select few people.  this is precisely why i build friendships that last.  i invest my time with quality folks & i stick by them.  it's like they say, you get what you put into it.  if you spend a little extra on the people & things in your life you will win in the end.

moderation

moderation.  this is the key to my sanity.  i do most everything in moderation.  not too little but not too much.  time is an issue when raising two kids in a constantly-on-the-go lifestyle & having high aspirations in all categories.  it's this lukewarm commitment that allows me to get everything on my to-do list checked off & still have time to play thundercats.  now let me clarify, i am not at all moderate instead i am extremely commited to my family, my friends, & my God.  my moderate attitude applies mostly to my personal interests & goals.  some people prefer to excel in a few categories, i prefer to take on a lot of interests & perform them well.  i'm okay with a less than perfect result.

i work out moderately & i eat healthy moderately.  i am not opposed to taking a week off from excersize & my sweets drawer is continuously needing to be replenished.  i scrapbook, blog, & journal keep in moderation.  i make time to shower & get ready every day but i never spend more than 45 minutes in my beauty routine.  i probably shop more than i should but i watch prices & never spend more than i should.  i love to read but i balance it timewise by watching only a little tv.  my house is never dirty but never overly clean.  i clean a little piece most everyday so as to never get overwhelmed (moderation at it's finest).  i love crafting but i have a rule, my crafts cannot be too time consuming.  i pretty much always find a way to do a craft in about two-thirds the recommended time.  the end product may not be as fine as intended but it's a balance & i'm always satisfied by the result.  i cook most days but i'm not afraid to throw on a bertolli's or reserve a table at p.f. changs in exchange for a little more backyard soccer with my boys.  i like my boys to eat healthy but we are known to have oreo shakes just about everynight.  i am also germ conscious but i have no problem letting my boys play in the dirt (it's mostly public restrooms that i have an issue with).  our laundry is done every week & i try to save every piece but if something involves too much scrubbing it gets tossed in the trash.  i love party planning & having company over.  i put an emphasis on details & love coordinating everything.  in my opinion our social events are always a success.  but i am not the type to spend hours upon hours concocting the perfect menu & design.  i feel that my family is well dressed but not at all over the top.  we are moderate.

yes, my friends, moderation is the reason i have reason.  my a.d.d. makes it difficult for me to stay focused on any one task for too long.  i do a little of this before moving on to a little of that.  and in the end i am happy.  i feel productive & rarely overwhelmed.  i get a lot done & i always have plenty of time for the things that truly matter in my life.  so when you are feeling a little swamped ask yourself if what your doing is a little over the top & if so then put it down & go fly a kite.  that's my theory.

love this.

what's in a name?

this hurricane irene really has me thinking.  did you know that my grandmother's name is irene.  and she is currently residing in the eternal above.  i can't help but wonder if maybe she pulled some strings somehow to get this disaster named after her.  how awesome would that be?!  i'd love to have a hurricane named after me!  what a fun way to have the world remember you.  i wouldn't want to be a devastating hurricane.  i'd be more of a playful, tricky hurricane.  like maybe i'd start off really strong, at a level 5 & scare everyone.  then as i got closer to land i'd slow down to a mild storm & cause no real damage.  maybe tear down a few random trees that would land in clear areas.  but then just to get everyone's attention i'd go back out to sea & rage up real big again.  then i'd come back to land as a little drizzle.  no one would get hurt but i'd still be able to wreak a little havoc.  i love it.  i think i just may do this.  so watch out for hurricane sara in about 100 years.  

hello.

i know that a lot of you, ahem, mom and dad, don't use blogger.  i love blogger.  it has this fancy little gadget right on my log in page that helps me keep up with my favorite blogs.  i've noticed some of my blogging friends use that same feature to follow my blog.  well, there's good news for the rest of you!  now blogger offers a feature that allows non-bloggers to follow bloggers through their email!  isn't that nifty!  so if you want to try it out just type your email into that little text box over on the right side of my page.  

afternoon reading

love this article.

it's refreshing to hear some common sense in this crazy world.  

throw back

if you know me then you know that i have a love for all things vintage.  and i have an even deeper love for any thing that has sentimental value.  so imagine my sheer joy when my mom unveiled a box of mine & my sisters' old belongings.  there were some rather horrid items & some pure treasures.  there were items that true vintage fashionistas like bluebirdvintage would have fainted over.  unfortunately, as the mother of two young boys there weren't very many items that i could hand down.  i uncovered one semi-gender neutral outfit (ok, maybe it is a tad too feminine to be worn in public), a blanket, and two rattles (t.j. loves both toys).

as the youngest of 4 sisters i was often adorned with hand-me-downs so i can truly testify of the practicality of reusing items from kid-to-kid & generation-to-generation.  shouldn't that be a higher priority in our material obsessed society?  reduce, reuse, recylce.  (ok, so maybe i am a bit hypocritical in this statement.  but i truly do try.  it's not my fault if manufacturers are constantly making more adorable & practical items that i just must own.)

be prepared

this whole japan earthquake/tsunami thing has really had me thinking.  have you noticed that there has been a rather devastating trend of natural disasters over the past 7 years.  and that the occurances of such disasters are becoming more & more frequent.  scary?  yea, a little.  but i put my trust in a being much more powerful than the earth so i'm not too worried.  i know he's got my back.  but that doesn't mean that i shouldn't have my family prepared for such a disaster to hit our area  (hello!  we live rather close to the san andreas fault line).  so i spent the morning preparing 72-hour kits for my family.  next on my list is to restock our food storage supply.  if your interested in customizing your own 72-hour kit here is a handy list.  

locked out

it's official.  the nfl has declared a lockout against the players.  lovely (can you hear the sarcasm in my voice?).

i just don't understand.  todd has always been the kind of guy that people like.  he's always invited to every event.  why then is his own employer locking him out?  it's so silly to me.  i just hope that they clear this mess up soon so that it won't effect the 2011 season.  todd is ready & rearing to play.  and the longer they delay the more time i have to wait to move to new york!  i am ready to try out life on the east coast!  if you care to follow up on the ongoings of the lockout you can keep up here.  (so maybe the information will be a little biased towards the players' point of view, but hey, todd is a player so we naturally side with the nflpa.)

fancy that.

I just discovered that I can blog from my phone. Yes, this post is coming straight from my palm.  Fancy that! It's not the easiest thing to do & I don't know how to add photos but I think it's exciting non-the-less. It'll be a convenient way for me to record all the silly things my kiddos do when we are on the go. Thank you ever-advancing technology.

a favor, por favor.

today is Let Us Play Day.

the nfl players are at risk of being locked out in march.  the owners are threatening to lock out the players if they cannot agree on a new collective bargaining agreement (to make a long story short, the owners want to save more money).  what does that mean for you?  no football next year.  what does that mean for us?  no job next year.  

please help the cause by taking a few seconds & signing this petition.  muchos gracias!

don't forget

is it Martin Luther King Jr. day?  how can you tell?  i logged onto msn.com & do they mention it?  nope.  instead they focus on the golden globes red carpet fashion, the recent miss america pageant, & how to ace a job interview.  in fact, everywhere i look there is no mention of the heoic man who had such a tremendous impact on freedom & equality in our country.  there was no mention of the holiday in my local newspaper.  on facebook everyone seems to be focusing on how excited they are to have a day off but have they stopped to think why they are not working today?  have we already forgotten this man & his noble acts only 43 years after his assasination?  not me.  not my family.  although, much of what mr. King worked towards has been accomplished his dream is not yet fulfilled.  poverty, racism, & inequality still plague our country.  we should still be focusing everyday to do what we can to better our society rather than simply being content because our situation now is better than it was then.  as mr. King said, "many of the ugly pages of American history have been obscured and forgotten....America owes a debt of justice which it has only begun to pay. If it loses the will to finish or slackens in its determination, history will recall its crimes and the country that would be great will lack the most indispensable element of greatness--justice." 

i do love googles headline today

sidenote:  i am not a fan of shortening holiday titles to exclude the names that make that date so important, i.e. mlk day rather than Martin Luther King Jr. day & xmas rather than Christmas.  let's not forget what we are celebrating.