Friday, August 2, 2013

like a helicopter.

i'm a hover parent. i hover with the best of 'em. i've been reading for years about hover parenting & how it's a big no-no. but it never settled well with me. i'm too controling & worrysome. i needed to make sure that things were done right & that my boys were okay. so i'd lay out cooper's clothes, open his snack bags & water bottles, hold his hand most everywhere, & pretty much make sure that he never needed for anything. it made sense. i didn't want him to be overwhelmed or worried. as well intended as this plan may have been it totallly backfired in my face the day i dropped my little babe off at junior kindergarten. this wasn't just a reality check, my reality was shattered! here i am expected to drop off my practically hand fed child to a complete stranger who is in charge of 24 other children. yes, you want my child to be one of 25! my sweet little angel who is used to 100% of his mothers attention 24/7 is supposed to become one of many. the first week i was a wreck. what if he doesn't know where the bathroom is or he is too shy to ask? what if he doesn't know how to open his juice box or snack pack? or heaven forbid, what if he gets lost!? i was so tempted to stalk around campus following him just to be sure all was well. in fact, the only reason i didn't was because i was afraid my lingering presence would alarm the good folks of wailuku elementary. so patiently i waited. each day i waited for those dreaded 6 hours to pass. and you know what, a funny thing happen. my son encountered nearly everyone of those scenarios i was dreading. and you know what else, he overcame them, all on his own.  he survived just fine without me. and after a few days it finally set in. i don't need to hover. in fact, i really do need to trust him. he is capable & he can do so much more than i give him credit for. part of my job as a mother is to prepare him for his future, this includes educating him, guiding him, & allowing him practical experience. and heaven knows he will not be down with me holding his hand through college & beyond. so i've started to let go & trust him. he's started to get his own snacks, pick out his own clothes, & do his own hair (babysteps people, i'm not about to let the little guy use the microwave or anything!) 

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