on dating

sometimes i write blog posts specifically to my sons for future reference. they are thoughts i have now that i don't want to forget to share with them later (ok, to be totally honest, since my near-death-accident i'm a little paranoid that i won't always be there for them. and i want to have these words written down in case i'm not here to tell them later.) so feel free to skip this post.

dating is a tricky thing. and doing it right is difficult. but it is honestly, the most important thing you will ever do. because how you date will dictate who you date. and who you date will become your wife. and who your wife is will determine your future family and so forth and so on. so date wisely. here are a few expectations i have for you when it comes to dating:

1. always ask a girl on a date. straight forward & direct. and always ask in person. if that just isn't possible than ask over the phone. never, i mean never, ask a girl on a date through a text, instant message, or email.

2. always take a girl out on a date. none of this "let's hang out at my place & watch a movie" nonsense. i expect you to pick her up & take her somewhere. it doesn't have to be fancy or ellaborate or immenseley creative. sometimes the best dates are simple, like a picnic in the park. you should always make sure you take her somewhere that she will feel comfortable at & enjoy.

3. open the car door for your date. open all doors for your date.

4. pay for your date. no questions asked. your father & i will make sure that you always have money for your dates. do not ever split the bill.

5. walk to the door to pick your date up. never text from the car, or worst yet, honk! and always walk your date to the door at the end of the night.

6. use your good senses when it comes to kissing. don't kiss every girl but don't be afraid to kiss the right girl.

7. listen to your date. the best dates involve getting to know the other person so take your date somewhere that will allow you to talk. ask her questions & share insight about yourself. the purpose of dating is to find someone you could spend your future with. so the longer you date a person the more you should get to know her.

8. always make your intentions clear. if you aren't feeling a girl than end it. don't string her along. it may hurt her for a minute but she will appreciate your honesty. and if you are feeling a connection than let her know. a girl loves clarity. it will make the whole dating process easier if you follow this one simple rule.

9. date around. but only seriously date one girl at a time. once you've found a girl you are interested in going exclusive with than be faithful. always, always be faithful. if you decide things aren't working out or you meet someone else you'd like to get to know refer back to rule #8.

10. be physical. the right way. hold hands, put your arm around her shoulders or eventually her waist, kiss her head, put your hand on her knee, these sweet gestures speak volumes & make a woman feel cared for. going too far physically only confuses the relationship & it can never be undone.

11. handle her heart with care. women are strong, much stronger than men. but they are also delicate. don't ruin that. do not be responsible for hardening a woman's heart.

12. get to know her family & friends. and let your family & friends get to know her. especially me.

13. when the time comes, tell her you love her, a lot. in fact, tell her all sorts of nice things. everyone deserves to be complimented.

14. serve her. not like a waiter more like perform acts of service for her. make her breakfast, take out her trash, offer her your jacket when she's cold, you get the point.

15. surprise her. again, a little can go a long way. just stick with small surprises. bring her a case of her favorite soda, pick her flowers, or show up at her work for a surprise lunch date.

16. never underestimate the power of the written word. as nice as it is to hear good things it's even better to have them written down so you can refrence back to them. you should write letters or notes to your love often.

17. when the time is right & you've found that special someone get down on one knee & ask her those 4 special words.

**my boys & i have started dating. once they hit 5 i take them on regular dates. we have fun but the whole purpose is to teach them how to date.